I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Randomize
