There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
