Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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