my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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