Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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