4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
