Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Liz is crying about burritos again.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
