I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
