ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
