Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
