Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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