literally had 100 drinks last night.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Randomize
