Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
