He kissed a someone with a penis
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
