she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
