U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
handjob tips. give me some.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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