Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
