The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
