OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Randomize
