IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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