i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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