so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
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