oh god the rape fog is back!
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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