you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
