I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
