she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
