I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
