At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
