after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
