stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Randomize
