I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
