Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
