can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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