i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
There's even glitter on my cock...
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
