ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
