dude i'm inner monologue high
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
