I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
