i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
