i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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