so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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