That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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