Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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