Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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