Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
