all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
