i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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