I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
they need to just BURY HIM!
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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