just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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