I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
