You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
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