i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
