i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize
