The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Two words: blizzard sex
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
