real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
When are your genitals available?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
